I think we've made performance reviews a little too much about reviewing performance.
We spend time defining goals, evaluating results, identifying development needs and discussing what someone should do differently. And then we document it all, hopefully in a system that doesn't make the whole process unnecessarily painful.
I'm not against performance management. Quite the opposite. I believe people deserve to know what's expected of them, how they're doing and what they can do to improve.
But I've started wondering whether we're missing something important in these conversations. We spend a lot of time talking about what people need to achieve for the organisation, but perhaps not enough about what they'd love to achieve for themselves.
Dream builders and dream killers
I recently came across an idea from Vanessa Van Edwards that I found particularly interesting. She talks about two different ways people respond when someone shares a dream, ambition or idea.
Dream builders respond with curiosity and encouragement. They ask questions, explore possibilities and help the other person feel more capable of pursuing what matters to them.
Dream killers are quick to analyse, challenge and point out potential problems. They tend to focus on what's unrealistic, what could go wrong and why something might not work.
Interestingly, both approaches have their place. When an idea is just taking shape, a critical response can shut down the conversation before it has really begun. But when you're ready to turn an idea into a plan, someone who challenges your assumptions can be incredibly helpful.
The timing matters, and I think this distinction offers an interesting perspective on how we approach people's goals and development at work.
We're pretty good at being realistic
There's something very Finnish about this topic too. We tend to value practicality, modesty and keeping our feet on the ground. We don't necessarily talk very openly about our ambitions, and we may feel a little uncomfortable making big claims about what we want to achieve.
These qualities can be valuable. Realism helps us make sensible decisions, and not every idea needs enthusiastic applause. But I wonder if our practical mindset sometimes makes us too quick to move from someone's ambition to the reasons it might be difficult to achieve.
Imagine someone expressing an interest in taking on a new kind of responsibility, learning something completely different or moving into a leadership role. The manager's mind might immediately go to practical questions about business needs, resources, readiness and how it would fit the person's current role.
They're all reasonable questions, and eventually they'll need answering. But perhaps they're not always the best place to start.
What if we started with curiosity?
Imagine a development conversation where the manager is genuinely interested in understanding what the employee wants for themselves. Not just what skills they need to develop for their current role or what the organisation needs them to deliver next year, but what they're curious about, what excites them and what kind of work they'd like to do more of.
There's something quite different about a conversation that starts from genuine interest rather than assessment. The manager doesn't need to have an answer or promise a promotion, a new role or a training budget. They can simply take the time to understand what the other person is thinking.
Sometimes that conversation might reveal an interest or ambition neither person had really considered before. It might also help the manager understand what gives someone energy, what they're capable of and where they'd like to grow.
And even when a particular ambition can't be realised at work, there's value in understanding it. It helps the manager know the person they're leading a little better.
Encouragement and accountability belong together
Of course, performance conversations aren't just about what people want. Companies have goals, customers to serve and work that needs to get done. Managers need to be clear about expectations, address underperformance and make decisions about priorities and resources.
I wouldn't want to replace any of that with vague conversations about aspirations. But I don't think we have to choose between being encouraging and being realistic.
A good manager should be able to help someone explore their ambitions and then work with them to understand what's possible, what it would require and how it might connect with the needs of the business.
Sometimes the answer will be that an idea isn't realistic right now, and sometimes an ambition will lead somewhere outside the organisation. Those conversations still have value, because understanding what someone wants is better than assuming their development should follow a path we've already imagined for them.
Better conversations, not just better processes
I've spent a good part of my career working with HR processes, including performance management. I know how much effort organisations put into creating structures, templates and annual cycles that help managers lead their people consistently. And I think those structures are important.
But a process can only take us so far. A well-designed performance review template doesn't automatically create a meaningful conversation. That requires a manager who's genuinely interested in the person sitting across from them and willing to listen, ask questions, encourage and challenge.
Which brings me back to the idea of dream building. I think we could bring a little more of it into our performance and development conversations by giving people room to explore their ambitions before we start evaluating how realistic they are.
This doesn't take away from the need to manage performance. It gives us a better opportunity to understand the people whose performance we're responsible for, and to have more meaningful conversations about how they can grow and contribute.
This is the final article in a three-part series exploring the human side of management. You can also read about building genuine relationships with employees and how managers can become better conversationalists.
Interested in exploring these ideas further? A great place to start is this podcast conversation with Vanessa Van Edwards.